I love the idea that we shouldn’t wait for life to happen to us. That we don’t need some dramatic event to finally ask ourselves: what do I actually want to do with the time I have? A life list is not a bucket list. It’s not about proving anything. It’s not about jumping out of a plane or climbing Kilimanjaro just because it sounds cool. It’s about things that matter to you, even if they sound boring to someone else.

I don’t need to swim with sharks. I don’t need to sleep in a cabin alone with no phone service. What I do need is to send the message I’ve written and deleted twenty times without overthinking it. I need to throw a dinner party, like a real one. I want to see a friend’s baby and not feel weird about how fast everyone’s growing up. I want to sit alone at a bar, order a glass of wine, and not scroll on my phone the entire time.

So yeah. Let’s make one.

How to Write a Life List

  1. Be specific. “Travel more” is vague. “Eat pizza in Naples with someone I love” hits different. I’ve always wanted to surf, but I won’t write “learn to surf.” I’ll write “take a surf lesson in Bali and fall off the board laughing.”
  2. Don’t only go big. Big goals are fine. But the little ones—the ones that feel like nothing? Those are the ones that hit. “Buy real pajamas.” “Mail my grandmother a handwritten letter.” “Sleep in clean sheets with the windows open.” That’s the good stuff.
  3. It should scare you a little. Not panic-attack scary, but gut-flip scary. Like, “tell someone I love them first.” “Submit writing to somewhere that might reject me.” “Say no to something I usually say yes to, just to be polite.”
  4. It’s not a contract. This isn’t the movie. No one’s dying. You can rewrite it, change your mind, take things off. It’s your list. You make the rules. You’re allowed to want new things.
  5. Ask yourself this: What’s something you secretly want, but would never admit out loud? Start there.

My Life List (for now)

  1. Take a surf lesson in Bali (even if I suck).
  2. Wear an outfit I love even if it feels “too much” for the occasion.
  3. Host a dinner party and cook everything myself.
  4. Go back to Paris just to walk around alone with no plan.
  5. Buy real pajamas. Like matching ones.
  6. Give a compliment to a stranger in the street or on the subway—something specific, like “your jacket is amazing” or “that perfume is perfect on you.”
  7. Ask a stranger to take a photo of me just because I like my outfit.
  8. Have a long conversation with someone I thought I lost touch with.
  9. Sit alone outside in a café in the sun and read a book
  10. Take the first train out of the city one morning. Pick the destination at the station.
  11. Read someone’s favorite book just to understand them better.

Some things are tiny. Some things are big. But every single one makes me feel something. And honestly? That’s the whole point.

If you’re curious—or need a push to start—go watch The Life List on Netflix. And if you want help creating yours, ask ChatGPT: “Can you help me make a personal Life List that’s emotional, specific, and a little scary in a good way?” You’ll be surprised what comes out.